vanilla-bliss: vanilla-bliss: today my mum forced me to have an ultrasound because she thought i didn’t have a uterus omfg ahhh memories
cancune: if a guy stares at ur boobs just stare at his dick maybe squint a little bit
earthnation: earthnation: what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt
royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
tumblr has given me the worst sense of humor ever i’m gonna be so screwed for school like if some student catches on fire i’ll probably burst into laughter
internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
starksfell: when lyrics are so good u just
digitaldoggy: calling a family meeting to brainstorm for textpost ideas
vvant: advice for having the best life ever: dont have a crush
lonelywhiteasian: i’d like to think anne frank would have reblogged my selfie
son-of-prongs: re-reading your own writing
nishlo: nishlo: CARTOONIST FOUND DEAD IN HIS APARTMENT DETAILS ARE SKETCHY
ashketchurn: I’m pretty sure most of you only follow me because I locked you in with a mutual follow.
maleteen: ER MAH GOURD
slenclerman: just because i hate me doesnt mean you can
broternia: i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie” i’m laaughing so...
That moment when you have to pretend to be happy...
yugoslavic: ohsunfury: yugoslavic: i had no idea this site cost 1.1 billion i bet its because of my blog i bet its because of my fanfics xD i bet its not
snapchatting: thegirlsontv: snapchatting: i just time traveled don’t believe me? well look at this u time traveled and all u fucking did was play around on the computer yeah
that-stupid-tardis-sound: if you pull out my earphones i will pull out your lungs
iamonlydorb: sucysucyfivedolla: the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg oh no I’m not falling for this one again
lonelywhiteasian: i asked my dad for a text post idea and he said “how about telling them to stop wasting their lives on a menial blogging site and get a job”
snckpck: STOP BEING SCARED TO SEND THAT “HEY” MESSAGE TO YOUR CRUSH. WHO KNOWS, YOU COULD BE KISSING THEM IN 2 WEEKS. YOU NEVER KNOW!! TAKE RISKS!!!
earthnation: will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking